Staying Sane During a Post-Stillbirth Pregnancy
A subsequent pregnancy after experiencing a stillbirth will bring with it its own set of challenges. Hopefully you've asked yourself a few questions to make sure you are emotionally and physically prepared to carry another child after grieving the loss of a stillborn baby. Getting pregnant again won't fix your problems and it could possibly magnify them if you aren't prepared.
Many women that have subsequent pregnancies after a stillbirth experience extreme anxiety. This can be anxiety about what they eat, what vitamins to take for their new pregnancy, exercise, and their daily environment. You name it and chances are you'll stress over it. This is because all you want is to be able to carry a healthy baby to term and hold it in your arms.
There is no doubt that getting pregnant again takes a lot of courage. With a wave of new problems on the horizon, here are some suggestions on how to manage the emotional highs and lows of a pregnancy after a stillbirth.
When the pregnancy test comes back positive, don't worry if you experience fear and joy at the same time. Chances are you will experience a rush of emotions that counter one another. These emotions may include guilt for feeling like you are pushing aside the baby that you lost, fear that you may not have a healthy baby this time around either, joy that you have another chance to be pregnant, and peace that you have accepted your loss and are ready to hope for the future. Nothing you feel in a wide range of emotions will be wrong.
Make sure you have proper support. There will be stressful times ahead of you and you will need shoulders to lean on. Surround yourself with friends and family who are able to give understanding and support back to you when you need it. In addition, use this time to naturally become closer to your spouse. Open your feelings and let your spouse be a part of the journey. If you don't have an immediate support group you can find many internet support groups that specialize in subsequent pregnancies after a loss. Finding someone to accompany you to your prenatal appointments to see ultrasounds or to simply hold your hand can also be a big support.
Choose your doctor or midwife carefully. Make sure he or she has the understanding to realize you will need extra reassurance during the entire process. This may even include multiple ultrasounds, extra prenatal visits, or calling them up to ask questions during the nine months. If your caregiver tends to be more concerned with the time than answering all your questions and concerns than you probably need to consider a change.
Know the medical aspects pertaining to your previous loss. The more you know about what happened, the more in control you will feel during this new pregnancy. Find out what you can do to prevent the same occurrence. Don't let it overwhelm your life, but asking a doctor to explain what went wrong in layman's terms will narrow your fears and anxieties during a new pregnancy.
Focus on the joy, not the fear. It will be very easy for your fears to overwhelm your daily pregnancy. It is very important that you let yourself take a few deep breaths every morning and say out loud the things that you are happy about. Most women who experience a loss of any kind go on to deliver healthy babies. Make sure you are able to express your fears and anxieties, but also make sure your true focus is on the happiness that a healthy baby will bring.
These suggestions will help to ease your burdens through an already challenging time. Further advice can also come from your prenatal doctor, therapist, or a support group of parents experiencing subsequent pregnancy after a loss.
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Labels: experience fear, extreme anxiety, get pregnant, highs and lows, internet support groups, pregnancy exercise, pregnancy test, pregnancy tips